I think your desire to see a bunch of naked teenagers is as bad as my desire to have sex with them!”“Maybe,” Kara smirked.“You also get off on the idea of me having sex with virgins. Your only regret is you can’t watch!”“Perhaps,” she said primly.“Some of these kids are freaked out about the idea of sex, let alone someone watching them! Even Krissy wanted her first time to be just her and me.”“I never asked; were you surprised she was a virgin?”“No more than I was Molly. With Krissy, even she couldn’t articulate why sex with me would be losing her virginity, but with Deborah it wasn’t. Well, it was, but you know what I mean. I think social norms are what caused Krissy’s confusion much the same way they caused Jennifer’s and Katy’s. Josie and Amy just didn’t care. Deborah’s first true sexual encounter was with a guy.”“You know, we haven’t seen Liz this Summer.”“She was in Florida, but now she’s in Saint Martin. She has a friend in Florida and they hit the beaches, nightclubs, and. Now she was terrified, trying not to cry, swallowing hard, and she looked so vulnerable that I fell in love with her right then. I liked her and would have liked to fuck her, but I didn’t want to love her. Nonetheless, it happened. I could almost stand outside of myself and watch the transformation, and amidst everything else that was happening at the same moment I made out a mocking comment from some odd corner of my mind: A crush on a lesbian? Why not just shoot yourself? ‘What I thought?’ It was time to take a chance. Carpe diem. ‘What I thought was that you were beautiful. The two of you were, but especially you. I didn’t think anything bad of you.’ The ship’s horn blasted through us. It was announcing us to any boats coming upstream, as we rounded a bend. We were far too close to it, so that it vibrated through bodies and drowned out everything. But it gave me time to think. Then: ‘Maybe for a moment, just for a moment, I felt some … jealousy, or regret. Because I could.
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